Hollywood Stunned: Stallone’s Knockout Punch to Disney’s Half-Billion ‘Woke’ Proposal.

In a move that has left Hollywood’s elite clutching their organic, sustainably-sourced pearls, Sylvester Stallone, the man who taught us all to “fight for what’s right” in a boxing ring, has turned down a staggering $500 million movie offer from Disney. His reason? He’s had enough of the “woke crap.” While some might see this as a missed opportunity, others are left wondering if Stallone is just trying to dodge another sequel – this time, one that doesn’t involve boxing gloves but rather a script dripping in political correctness.

Disney, the entertainment behemoth known for its magical kingdoms and fairy-tale endings, has recently been on a quest to sprinkle a little more ‘wokeness’ into its cinematic universe. From princesses advocating for equal pay to princes joining climate change marches, Disney has been ensuring every character gets a dose of 21st-century enlightenment. Rumor has it that the next “Lion King” sequel will feature Simba attending a seminar on sustainable grazing. Hakuna Matata, indeed.

Sylvester, however, seems to have missed the memo about Hollywood’s new direction. When asked about his decision, he remarked, “I’ve fought against Russians, trained fighters, and even climbed mountains in my movies. But this? This is where I draw the line.” Ah, the good old days when the only drama Stallone had to deal with was a rival boxer and not a script filled with modern-day social commentary.